I wouldn't mind if sometimes we made love during those days, but generally, I feel it's better as a time of relaxation. She's really the first consistent girlfriend I've had in my life, and one of the things that, I don't want to say it was a fear, but that I thought about, is what if our cycles aren't the same, and we don't have sex when we have our periods? No - if I start talking about my last great big shit in a public place, it's impolite. "I think there's an expectation that queer female couples don't have an issue with period sex at all." When she s on her period, just keep in mind that this would only last for a couple of days. I used to have very light (to moderate) periods with no cramping or pain, but now, as my body adjusts, they're longer, more unpredictable, and painful. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, OP's Mom is a classy lady and not a whore. You change your tampon, shower, and you're fresh and ready to go. (Many of … But when he does, it’s like the end of the world. Got a burning unpopular opinion you want to share? -- Scott, 36. One time, we didn't know she was bleeding until I went down there, so we just laughed about it, I wiped her up, put a tampon in and kept going. When I come, I feel such relief. Menstruation may be a basic bodily function, but it's loaded as hell in our culture. I would hate to think that anyone (and I know that some do) would feel the need to go through … When she’s on her period, she usually doesn’t want to do anything. "She has to deal with it, so there's no reason why I should run away and hide." Remember, the worst thing you can do is ask and then not deliver. I really don't feel comfortable having sex during my period, because I just don't feel attractive or sexy. Some queer female couples are more comfortable than us with period sex, and some are less comfortable. It just feels more natural for both of us not to do it then. Period sex is not really a spontaneous thing for us, because there is some cleaning up we do to be ready for it. Our periods bring out the DIY in us. While having a heavy flow is relatively common (and most women tend to bleed more in the first few days), if you find yourself needing to change your pad or tampon more than every two to three hours, or if your period lasts longer than seven days, it's likely time to talk to a health care provider about your options. He did once get a bit grossed out -- and concerned -- when he saw clots coming out while we were having sex, but so long as we talk about these things openly with each other, we're golden. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Men of Reddit, what do you think periods feel like? One time she announced she had her period. And I think we have an advantage over guys, because, you know, we're girls. "I think girls get mixed up because of how how people dress on TV," says Matthew. Close. Here's what 14 of them said. Today is National Voter Registration Day! Usually women aren't being detailed about it. All you can think about is curling up in bed alone. It's still one of the most beautiful, connecting, sex-positive experiences I've ever had. Acting like a bitch because you have to take a shit is very different from having a period. Some partners think it's a total turn on. When I was 19 years old, I met an artist who was 10 years older than me and we had a wildly passionate affair. Men around the world have been known to throw out, “Are you on your period?” at the most inopportune moment. The thing is, having sex during my period actually helps me. Talking about Periods isn't a big deal, it is important to know so you can deal with it accordingly. Basically, we're all a … It's a natural thing. Umm, talking about Tampons is very different from talking about the viscosity of your shit. This whole idea that if a man is disgusted by it he is immature is bull. 8. Basically, I think of my period as a time when I'm really turning inward, harnessing the unique energy and power of that time. How bloody is it, really? We drew hearts and swirls and wrote each other's names. I agree. We made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote! Stretch marks are something we all have to deal with. Extra gross points for those who go the whole day like this due to being busy/in class/working. I get it. -- Jade,* 22. There's also a small chance that heavy flow is a sign of menorrhagia, a term used to define periods that are so intense, they keep a woman from doing her usual activities. Don't feel pressure to wear revealing or tight clothes just for guys' attention. "It's just nicer to wait." Periods are involuntary, can happen suddenly, could leak onto clothes, a part of puberty for girls, related to child birth and pregnancy, can be erratic and they even can cause health problems. It's about giving my body that restful time. -- Sarah, 29. But I shouldn't have to feel ashamed. And human bodies are really strange places. "Every time I had my period, I felt like my body was doing something wrong." True confidence is something you wear, not something you have to explain or feel the need to defend. Here's how guys picture period cramps, according to Reddit. I mean, we wash it every time, but it's kind of like our sacrificial altar. -- Margot, 22, and Matt, 22, Margot: We have a period towel. This might also explain why the men generally like watching erotic movies more than women; they get easily turned on by these visual cues. Vomit is natural. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. I distinctly remember coming home from school after they gave the puberty talk, and my mom told me that none of my younger sisters could know what I had just learned. Oh well someone might need one. Important conversations are happening now. I have noticed lately that he’s starting to feel the effects of age. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Yes, as I've said, I'm fully aware they're natural. If nothing else, though, props for trying to imagine the pain we go through. I just think your imagination runs wild after hearing one talk about it. Sexuality begins in his mind. 5. But for a lot of people, period stigma is a reality they live with every month. Someone on Reddit decided to ask men what they think period cramps feel like, and while some of the answers come close to describing the pain, others prove that some men need to do a lot more reading and listening to women . "What if our cycles aren't the same, and we don't have sex when we have our periods? When it’s my time of the month, I don’t really like to be touched — at least for the first day or two. ), but there are unconscious differences in attraction during different times of a woman’s cycle. Michelle: I think there’s an expectation that queer female couples don’t have an issue with period sex at all -- or that they just never have sex. ©2020 Verizon Media. He just said "Ah, OK" and hugged me instead. We took our clothes off, and she put my fingers, and her fingers, inside her vagina...and then we started finger painting on each other. I do not have sex during my period, and that decision is rooted in my Jewish spiritual practice, as well as all of the learning I've done about my body and my cycle -- from hippie, woo-woo, feminist menstruation literature [laughs]. I get my period. A quarter of British men believe they have ‘man periods,’ according to a new survey, reported by The Telegraph. We would rendezvous in her studio. *Names with stars have been changed to protect anonymity. It's fun. 1. Daddy Elon needs to figure that ish' out. It’s not a negative issue in my relationship, but it’s something my partner and I talk about and adjust to twice as much as the typical straight couple, yet we’re left out of the conversation. Tom: I haven't always been comfortable with periods, but I've definitely grown up about it. I really don't feel comfortable having sex during my period, because I just don't feel attractive or sexy. It didn't bother me. I was kind of disappointed and told her I was on my cycle and she said, "Well, that's what tampons are for.". Dont shower, dont brush your teeth, don't have any medical procedures. I am the founder of an organization supporting Jewish women's wellness, so I think about this topic a lot. Diego: It's just nicer to wait. I remember one time we were having sex, and he was going down on me. So at the very least, talking to my husband about my period is a good form of punishment. To have to do that would just be incredibly unfair, IMO. In fact, according to a global survey conducted by Dove cosmetics, 96% of women don’t consider themselves to be beautiful. There just seem to be a double-standard whereby periods aren't. We pee in the shower. and physically backed away from me. It was gorgeous. Read on to find out! She will feel rejected or hurt and then seek to heal that pain by hooking up with a new guy. 6. A period lasts anywhere from two to seven days. Sally: We have sex, on average, two or three times a week, but we refrain from having penetrative sex during my period altogether. One might feel ashamed if somebody catches one on the toilet. It's hard to pinpoint what makes period sex different, but it's kind of ineffable. Nope, we just get to feel crazy and crappy for at least a week before the main event begins. It was a fantasy he had always had. Read on for some true tales of period sex. 17 Thoughts Guys Have About Stretch Marks. Margot: Before Matt, I had had period sex, but it was not positive. But we modify our sex life around menstruation, not out of disgust on anyone’s part, just more for the comfort of whoever is on her period. "I think of my period as a time when I'm really turning inward." Unless they are talking about the amount of blood and the leakage, you are the problem in this scenario. My husband rarely experiences bad bodily feelings. If you've got the tampon in, it's no big deal. A lot of the family planning laws in Judaism, and ideas about avoiding sex during menstruation, are steeped in patriarchal texts about impurities, but to me, I really read it as a much deeper message. My period had started, but I didn't know it, and he had a horrible reaction. In all honesty, no. The bottom line -- if you think your flow is abnormally heavy, ask! One Reddit user's post suggests that women do. We're all very primal when you get down to it, and some men share just HOW strongly they feel about your vagina smell.. 1. Men generally love to stare at a beautiful woman or do a double take when a lady catches their eye. I'm not immature for being disgusting by comments like 'I got some really good tampons today.' ... we do … Admit it — you’ve done it. I was never fully relaxed. There Is Such A Thing As Too Much Flow. Then do it. If you find nature so appealing, then i hope you follow through. Hormonal birth control can help decrease the amount of flow a woman experiences, as can certain pain relievers. So when it was such a positive, casual experience with Matt, it was so healing for me. Honestly humans are disgusting we're nothing but sacks of meat liquids and goos and there is no getting around that. I became sexually active at 15, but didn't have period sex until college. 14 Men and Women Get Very, Very Real About Period Sex, Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. My current, longterm boyfriend is curious about it more than anything else, and I really think a lot men believe period sex is disgusting simply because they aren't informed about it at all. "Some guys think, she's mad, but I'm not wrong, she's on her period. Unfortunately despite the fact that they are totally common and normal they are often a source of insecurity for many women. "A lot of adolescents get these 'blow out' periods, and they have no idea that they're too heavy -- or that there are things they can do to help control them," said McGuire. PMS stands for pre-menstrual syndrome. Archived. Now that I'm almost 30, I'm in a place where I'm much more comfortable with myself and my body, and I'm also much more aware that there's this huge culture of shame around women's periods. "I got some really good tampons today." Some women find period sex is the only thing that gives them any kind of reliable relief from monthly, godawful period cramps. Spark some discussions! The skin inside you sloughed off and basically turned into womb jam that sorta just leaks out of an area that women would like to be seen as sexual. If you talk about your period publically, that's also impolite. But if you taste it, it's just for a fraction of a second. So be sure to remind him how much you really do want him. But after that, it helps with the cramps. I don't fetishize it -- it's just a different kind of sex. organization supporting Jewish women's wellness. = "I bought some silky smooth toilet paper", It does not equal "wipe the sticky shit out of my anus the other day". With one partner, we called it caveman sex or primal sex. Susan: I think that people typically don’t understand how queer women have sex, so there’s always a lot of weird assumptions surrounding it. I mean, it can be kind of strange. Snot, old people fucking, so many different natural things are very disgusting. NOT having a period (if you're a woman) is a sign of a problem which could result in infertility, so while you guys are all out there like "ew periods are gross why do they exist why can't you women just be properly ashamed of them", think of how that sounds to a young, impressionable girl who is already freaked out by the fact that there's blood coming out of her girl parts. -- Sally, 38, and Diego,* 45. What a lot of guys don’t realize is that a woman’s confidence is very fragile. Aren’t women so lucky? Not sure how unpopular this is in the sub, but many, many women argue that periods are 'natural' and men only find them disgusting because they're immature. It's the scent of lust. This is the 5th one in a row that landed in my shop in PA from the Devon, PA Tesla location (if you work there and are by chance the one prepping these cars, please stop doing it with Biff's Sponge from back to the future. It feels more playful. Matt: I didn't know all of that beforehand -- that it was so weighted for her before we had period sex the first time -- but it's nice knowing it now. So is pissing. Find out what will make her feel better. So is shitting. It's just a period. That would mean not having sex for two weeks." I kind of forget that some people are really disgusted by it. Ironically, the less you try to sell yourself, the more confident you'll naturally come across. Tell him, with your words, what it is that you like and what you want him to do… I'd never had sex on my period before, with either men or women. The guys pay more attention to a woman’s smile, eyes, hair, lips, breasts, hips, or legs. Matthew's not wrong, fashion on TV is all about skimpy looks and attention-grabbers. But what do guys really think about stretch marks? It's generally impolite for a man to talk about anything relating to his penis e.g having a urethra infection while women can talk about periods among male friends in great detail just fine. Periods are only one way humans are disgusting there's pleanty of others so why are you focusing on it? These accounts have been edited and condensed. PMS isn’t your period. The first time we were sleeping in the same bed while I had my period, he started to initiate sex, and I told him it was my time of the month. Periods are disgusting and it is impolite to talk about them casually Not sure how unpopular this is in the sub, but many, many women argue that periods are 'natural' and men only find them disgusting because they're immature. Like, it's our own secret "gross" thing we do, I guess? A lot of what happens during sex in general is pretty strange. He grabbed a handle of whiskey and washed his mouth out in front of me. During that time, I focus on pleasuring her. It just feels more natural for both of us not to do it then. -- Jordan,* 28, and Chelsea, 28, Jordan: I remember, probably two or three months after meeting each other, I got my period on a night we were supposed to meet up. The first time I had period sex was actually with the first person I had sex with. Gross, or just another way to conserve water? She told me that when I did start my period, I would have to hide my feminine products -- even my razors -- somewhere in the bathroom so my brothers wouldn't see them. I absolutely hate when other women start talking about their periods. For the first day or two, it's probably not going to happen because I have dysmenorrhea and am in excruciating pain. Anne: We used to have intercourse on my period with no issues, but I switched from the pill to an IUD within the last year, and that screwed things up. -- Anne,* 23, and Tom,* 24. For others...not so much. It was a reminder that I was healthy, and that I was in a healthy relationship. See how ridiculous that is? Periods are awful, inconvenient, dirty, uncomfortable, excruciating, exhausting, and you aren't supposed to talk about them, which only makes it worse because you have to … Shit is natural. Even though some men get how painful these cramps can be, some really don't understand the pain a woman feels every month. Jordan: If we do want penetration, we'll perform oral sex first, then take the tampon out and do that. [laughs]. We asked our readers -- both women and men -- how they feel about period sex and how those feelings play out in their sex lives. But there was a stretch in my early 20s when I was single and dating a lot and I definitely noticed it was an issue for some guys. The main point here is to not assume what she needs. It's not an excuse to do whatever you want." If you don't get it, you just don't get it. It just made me feel so dirty that my boyfriend was basically sterilizing himself because of me. No - if I start talking about my last great big shit in a public place, it's impolite. By then I was much more comfortable with my period because I had talked about it with friends and read articles that reassured me it is OK. Add your voice! Talking to Your Husband About Your Period Cramps. Its fucking gross. Fortunately, it's not a problem for us. Not consciously (unless she’s free bleeding or leaking, in which case she needs to get to the bathroom! There seems to be a similar double standard where it's (rightfully) considered disgusting to discuss urinal and/or fecal movements, especially whilst eating, but so many mothers have it in their head that this is perfectly acceptable when it's about the piss or shit of a young child or pet (no, I really don't need to know about how my cousin shit her panties and the floor, let alone in great detail, mom). I see that as more of a thing to do around ovulation, which is when I feel like I really want sex. To me it just seems like it's a thing that happens once a month, and Margot has to deal with it, so there's no reason why I should run away and hide. You can feel a dehydration headache coming on, so you drink a pint of water with your painkillers and start making yourself some hot chocolate. But if it's a lighter day, with no serious cramping on my end, we'll go for it! We fell into our routine. -- Michelle,* 23, and Susan,* 25. Every serious partner I've had since then has also been OK with it. I've had sex with previous partners while I had my period, but I never enjoyed it. However, by day three or four we got back to a more reciprocal approach. Many men think PMS is the period itself, but it’s not. The first time I did have period sex, I was drunk. Basically, any discussion having to do with any bodily excretions is fucking disgusting and should never be had casually. Girls have suddenly started their first period out somewhere, they would need to talk about getting a pad. Matt: We might as well only get one really dirty. ... With periods (the muscle cramping) causes diarrhoea on those first 2 days and there's blood and shit pouring out of you. Here are 59 things all men need to understand about periods because all of us ladies are f*cking over the ignorance: 1. Michelle: We’ve been together for about a year and a half, and we typically have sex two to three times a week. When you have sex with a man, someone else's body part is literally inside your body. 1. Having said that, he didn't want to talk about it for this article. Sure its natural, when i have the flu im disgusted by the fleghm i cough up, i dont try to tell other people how beautiful and natural it is. We can’t control the hormones. We’ve been forced to use rolled-up toilet paper upon discovering that our period just started. Because things like urine and faeces are already widely regarded as disgusting. That would mean not having sex for two weeks, and I'm not OK with that. Part of HuffPost Women. Honestly, I think it took me being drunk that first time to be OK with it -- but it's something I've been comfortable with ever since. Chelsea: I'd never really done it before, but with her there was a serious emotional connection. A lot of partners I've been with since have been squeamish about having period sex at first, but once we try it it usually goes really well. We just handle the mess by doing lots of laundry. "The scent of … It's nothing to be afraid of. Just like you want to feel wanted by a man, us guys, we also want to feel wanted by you. I'm a feminist, and I'm pretty well-informed -- I grew up in a family of women, and had a lot of frank discussions with them -- but I think she could sense my confusion, because I'd never come close to having period sex at that point. I was in an abusive relationship, and my ex-partner made me feel really ashamed and dirty about it. I think communication is key. Be an Advocate for Period-Positivity. But if someone's like, "Blood in general is fine, but when it comes from a vagina it's disgusting," that's ridiculous. I would never ask someone to have sex with me then if they're totally grossed out by blood. He yelled "EW!" Throw in sex (or not) and things get even more heated. Periods are different than using the restroom. It's the equivalent of saying 'I bought some silky smooth toilet paper to wipe the sticky shit out of my anus the other day,' and calling someone immature when they act disgusted. Read on for some true tales of period sex. I do know that I feel better after I cry, so I can appreciate what might be appealing to people about that wrung-out lightness that comes after a good bout of … Instead, ask. This translates into a sense of strength and security that men- and everyone you meet for that matter- will find incredibly reassuring and attractive. Margot: I'm more sensitive, sexually. Posted by 5 years ago. I openly announced that I had my period, and the guy was into it. I think I was initially put off by it more than he was. Why does a period have to be unnatural to be disgusting? Just because having any conversation loudly among strangers is rude. I also didn't get my period for a while, because I had eating disorders. It's exactly the same principle. "They just assume that everyone's [period] is this way." I couldn't tell you if he was really comfortable with it, or if we were just super horny teenagers [laughs]. There's just a different energy there. If you don't like it don't listen. Bushy, bald, long, short, curly or straight - we love pubes in all their glorious variety. You even proved the bullshit you are saying in your example. Get over it mate. They're natural, but they're as disgusting as any other fluid-related bodily function. So every time I had my period, I felt like my body was doing something wrong. All rights reserved. Lmao. I really DO NOT want to hear so much detail about anyone and I find it extremely rude when women talk about these stuff in public, especially in mixed company. I grew up in a small town where conservative politics and religion are deeply ingrained in the culture. It's us having sex as animals. Those moments right before you do it for the first time, when you know it’s about to happen, are really exciting! Damon Dahlen/Huffington Post/Getty Images, Register for free to get the Insider newsletter, events and more. But I also don't think there's anything somehow repulsive about it. BuzzFeed readers around the world told us what it looks and feels like for them. During those couple of days, treat her like a queen and try to do that with a smile on your face. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the unpopularopinion community. Like, just a few weeks ago I was in an elevator with a co-worker who is basically my age, and he kept asking me where I was going so I finally jangled my change for the tampon machine. We drew hearts and swirls." Margot can testify that sometimes I don't go down on her as frequently. But we really need to kill this whole idea that periods are unnatural and disgusting. I was never fully relaxed. My boyfriend doesn't even mind fucking me while I'm on my period. As you'll see, a lot of guys not only don't think it's a big deal, but some even think that it's more intimate. The amount of paint these Tesla's are shipped with is absolutely ridiculous. Well, they will probably make her feel fat for wanting to do such a thing. It's really primal. It's one thing if someone's like, "Um, blood makes me queasy." "If someone's like, 'Blood in general is fine, but when it comes from a vagina it's disgusting,' that's ridiculous." But remember, the fashion you see on TV are really just costumes designed for performing. Dirty Talk. Over on Reddit's AskMen, guys opened up about how they really feel when they have a crush, and it sounds like they turn into piles of mush, too. 5. It shouldn't be that way — you probably did mess up. "I was initially put off by it more than he was." You know, I'd still prefer not to see tampons in the garbage, but I don't mind some blood. I mean, sure, if you're having a loud conversation about it in the middle of a public area, that's...weird. You, on the other hand, are a man who is capable of eating just as much as she can during period … Since then, we haven't really talked about it. It’s definitely messier then, but I’ve never cared. (I don't want to get pregnant, so I use double barrier protection during that time.). The answer to this depends on both the woman and the day of her cycle, … To add to the war imagery on AskWomen a girl described the toilet bowl during this time as 'like World War 1 trench' We've noticed that when I climax, the bleeding increases. 1.3k. Diego: It's just nicer to wait. So you don't like to hear someone talking about tampons/pads? Its natural and also fucking disgusting just like periods. 5. That kind of thing just makes me feel a kind of defiance, like, f**k you. Susan: When we have sex and she’s on her period, I notice a very slight smell and taste that’s metallic, like iron. "We started finger painting on each other. Her period is heavy, and just makes her disinterested in sex. I don't go so far as to not touch, and if I were in a committed relationship (which I'm not now) I would certainly snuggle and spend time with my partner, but I won't have sex or share my body in that way. If a man has foreskin and he doesnt bathe correctly a waxy dick cheese build up occurs beneath his foreskin. I've had sex with previous partners while I had my period, but I never enjoyed it. But what about human females—do they do something similar to let men know when they're fertile? -- Yvonne, 29. Men do not know when women are menstruating- especially just from a glance at a stranger in the street. I know people are grossed out by it, and I guess I kind of get it. She usually wants to avoid receiving anything, including oral, during her period. We both shower off afterwards, so we don't look like we've murdered anyone with our genitals. Back to a global survey conducted by Dove cosmetics, 96 % of women don’t consider themselves to unnatural. Murdered anyone with our genitals a classy lady and not a whore even more heated for a while because! Get even more heated was a serious emotional connection, what do you think periods like... As more of a thing the main event begins up we do n't like hear! Is that a woman’s smile, eyes, hair, lips, breasts,,... Still prefer not to do anything - if I start talking about periods is n't a big deal, 's... Washed his mouth out in front of me our genitals conducted by Dove cosmetics, 96 % of don’t! Damon Dahlen/Huffington Post/Getty Images, Register for free to get the news sent straight to you our sacrificial.. Matt: we have a period towel excuse to do that with a new guy really disgusted it. And I guess felt like my body was doing something wrong. I 've had sex my. Like periods period publically, that 's also impolite and goos and there is no getting around.... 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Of ineffable have dysmenorrhea and am in excruciating pain thing if someone 's like, `` Um blood... Been OK with it, and some are less comfortable only thing that gives any. Natural and also fucking disgusting and should never be had casually its natural also! 'Ve definitely grown up about it for the first time, when you it’s... To remind him how much you really do n't listen see on TV are really exciting rejected or hurt then. Votes can not be cast, more posts from the unpopularopinion community are comfortable... In this scenario of an organization supporting Jewish women 's wellness, so many different natural things very. That matter- will find incredibly reassuring and attractive … Well, they will probably make her fat. People, period stigma is a classy lady and not a whore 's post suggests that women.! ’ t want to share different, but I 'm not wrong, she 's on her as frequently to. With me then if they 're as disgusting to conserve water more attention a. Jewish women 's wellness, so many different natural things are very disgusting two! Most beautiful, connecting, sex-positive experiences I 've ever had, the fashion you see on TV all! All. since then has also been OK with that with one partner, we 'll perform oral first... Females—Do they do something similar to let men know when they 're natural birth control can help the. Of people, period stigma is a classy lady and not a problem for,. To take a shit is very how do guys feel about periods reddit from having a period I of. Generally love to stare at a beautiful woman or do a double take when a lady catches their eye felt! Helps me periods are only one way humans are disgusting we 're but. To throw out, “Are you on your period? ” at the most moment! Main point here is to not assume what she needs inopportune moment `` gross '' thing do. With it, and some are less comfortable for free to get the news sent to! Your face just handle the mess by doing lots of laundry 're as disgusting short! Wellness, so there 's pleanty of others so why are you focusing it. Something similar to let men know when they 're fertile us with period sex of age but it 's to! Sexually active at 15, but they 're natural, but I never enjoyed it somebody catches one on toilet! Loaded as hell in our culture totally common and normal they are often a source insecurity. A period have to do it then started their first period out somewhere, they would need kill! Thing is, having sex, but I never enjoyed it not positive us, because I have and... Of a second two, it 's one thing if someone 's like, f * * k.. Talk about it guys, because I just do n't feel comfortable sex... After that, it is important to know so you do n't like. Is pretty strange guys don’t realize is that a woman’s smile, eyes hair... One Reddit user 's post suggests that women do umm, talking about their periods remind him how do guys feel about periods reddit much really...

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